This is a copy of an email I received from Bill on November 16, 2000:

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right!" the woman said, "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said, "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Can you imagine that, a monkey joke!! So I emailed him right back:

You sent me a monkey joke!!!!!!!!!!!! That thing's older and hairier than I am!

He replied:

Sometimes you send out jokes just to get people to go "Oh crap, not that one again!".
I just sent it out to see how old you really are & now I know.
As far as your being hairy goes.....
Electrolysis is a good remedy I am told. But since you are from the frozen North, you may just be, through evolution, naturally more hairy. I would just leave it alone till someone calls out "Hey Chewbacca".
But enough of that for now. Have a great Day! I am going to goof off for a little while today.
Bill, the odd mood kind of guy

Odd mood, indeed! Before I could email the goofy fellow back he sent the following:

Hello again.
Nanda said I was mean and the last letter was in bad taste. Some people get offended at "Hair talk" and I might have offended you for real with the monkey joke due to some personal or private matter that deeply effects you.
Nanda also informed me that it was something women just do not discuss with the opposite sex.
So please accept my deepest and warmest apologies if the email offended you in any way. I did not intend ever to personally attack your genetic characteristics. However, do your knuckles get injured when walking down a rough bit of side walk and is it hard to find sleeves long enough to wear? Sorry, just a touch of curiosity.
Once again, I am truly sorry if I have offended you or your lineage.
Bill

Well!!!! Trying not to be out-done I hurriedly typed the following reply:

Hello & good morning back at you;
Nanda was right. (Isn't it wonderful how often women are correct about everything?!)
My ancestors lived in Scotland. I ask you; how else were they to keep warm?
My knuckles are sore from typing emails; the simple fact that I eat a lot of bananas has nothing at all to do with the matter.
Your apology is accepted.
One has to make allowances for someone who's ancestors "suddenly appeared" on this continent; they may have a more direct link to the Neolithic era. Upon traversing a Hall of ancient man one may suddenly come upon their visage next to Cro-Magnon man.
No offense intended, of course. I like heavy brows & prominent chins.
Talk to you later;
samm
PS: I don't have any problems buying shirts (I buy men's shirts which always have long arms) but pants can be a problem.

And that is the end of my tale - I never received a reply. Sigh...... Perhaps Neolithic man is forgetful.....
Or maybe I won the battle of the wits (wit-less some might say).